Top 3 Reasons Preseason Is Never As Fun As You Think It Will Be:
3. Watching dreams die is depressing—Every time the ball is fumbled, a new career in HR/insurance/paper sales is born.
2. It doesn’t mean anything—Last year the Detroit Lions won all of their preseason games, and the season itself didn’t go so well. Losing your games doesn’t assure regular-season victory, either.
1. Out-of-towners are out of luck—If you, say, live in New York but follow a team from Tampa, no way you’re seeing the games.
Top 3 Quarterbacks for the Bucs:
3. Josh Johnson (tied)—Had a 43-yard TD run. Against the 75th string, but still.
3. Luke McCown (tied)—Apparently even announcer and former Buc John Lynch kept called him “Josh,” as in his brother Josh McCown the Carolina Panther. Oops.
2. Josh Freeman —Raheem loves the dude. Maybe because his career is tied to the rookie?
1. Byron Leftwich—Fortunately, he’s racing ahead of the pack. Unfortunately, the pack in question is something akin to a group of 3-legged horses.
Top 3 Reasons to Prepare for Teen Wolf References This Season:
Stylzes G White’s quarter of play included:
3. 3 tackles
2. 1 sack
1. A pass batted down for an interception
The inspiration for Stylez G's legal name change. No, seriously.
Top 3 Players Bucs Should Call in for Help at Receiver:
3. Mike Vick—Oh wait, never mind.
2. Plaxico Burress—Oh wait, never mind.
1. Derrick Brooks—If Jermaine Phillips can play linebacker… (Save face, Derrick! Retire!)